Thanksgiving 2010

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Although Grandma and Grandpa were greatly missed, we invited some friends over that have become like our adopted family members in Orlando. Carla and Sammie, The Meyerson Family (Chad, Meagan, Ashlin, and Tayley), and the Elders.

Funny enough, I got to know both Carla and Meagan in cyberspace. Carla and Meagan were my FB friends introduced to me through other friends. Carla attended our same church building, but the English speaking congregation. One day last summer, we ran into each other at Aquatica. Mateo and Sarah hit it off with Sammie, who is about 14 months older than Mateo. I met Meagan through one of my former zone leaders and A.P.s in the mission (Kelly Smith). Almost two years ago, he told me he has a sister that would be relocating to the Orlando area. Meagan and I corresponded via e-mail and FB for almost one year before actually meeting in person this summer.

Even though it's a little bit late for the "I am grateful for" Thanksgiving speech, I am especially grateful this year for my parents and siblings who lend a listening ear and are such examples and an inspiration to me, a patient husband, loving children, supportive friends, Priesthood blessings, missionaries who have made good choices thus far in their life so they can bless my family as they visit our home, awesome health insurance, a college education, a job to help me pay off student loans, and answers to prayers.

Christmas Gifts

 

There are no Christmas presents wrapped and underneath the tree, but guess who I found the other day?

It's My Day!!!!!

Sarah loves being in charge of writing the events of the week on the family calendar. She has known for the past couple of days that Thursday and Friday is her special day. On the calendar it says "EEG". When I asked Sarah if she remembers what that means, she told me yes. She was very excited to be hang out with me for 2 days. McDonald's pancakes for breakfast on our way there with those yummy chicken nugget breakfast things (translation: hash browns), and Flippers Pizza delivery for dinner.

When we got to the parking lot of the building, she froze. She then looked up and said "Why did you trick me mommy? It's supposed to be my special day! I don't like this place. It's the S word. (Stupid). I don't want to go inside." We waited for a little over an hour for the electrodes to be attached to her scalp. And then I listened to her cry and whine and complain for the next two hours. Let's just say this is going to be a long 48 hours.

Thank goodness for Meagan, Carla, and Shannon. Their visits give her something to look forward to. Meagan just dropped off a bunch of crafts that we can do together. YIPPIE! Carla will be delivering Chipotle and McDonald's in about one hour. I think the boys will come tomorrow. And I think I will sneak into my car and drive home allowing Cristian the opportunity to sleep in the very oh so comfortable futon.

I called my buddy Manuel the other day and also spoke to Maritza requesting the big room. They both told me it was going to be occupied. We were going to have to stay in one of the smaller rooms. However, upon checkin today we were told we got the big room. YES! What this means in layman terms is there is a double bed that I can crawl into with Sarah in the middle of the night. The futon is also a larger size. And instead of being stuck in a space of 8 feet by 8 feet, we are in a room that is double the size. Thanks friends at the Epilepsy Center for hooking us up! And thanks next door seizure neighbor who was slated to stay in the big room and arrived about two minutes after we did this morning. :0) I guess that is what we call the true meaning of "first come, first served".

Delurk anyone???

O.K. Here's the scoop.  My loyal readership has gone from 3 people up to about 15.  I am not the technology queen.  So I don't have the slightest idea even HOW to spy on you spying on me.  How about giving me an early Christmas present by telling me who you are and how you stumbled upon my blog?  Thanks!

Profound Questions

A dear friend responded to my  Independence post via e-mail.  In it, she asked: 
1) What is it that you want out of your life? 2) Does this desire or want have anything to do with perfection? (Are you looking for change on an instant basis or are you able to wait/be patient for some time to allow the blessings to happen?)  

She then went on to say:

The Atonement is the most amazing power in the Universe. It has the power to set everything right. Now the timing of that is left up to the Lord. Your comment about independence is a powerful question. You said, "Will I ever be able to retrain myself to be less independent? Will I be able to to learn to depend on my spouse? Will I ever be able to learn to pick up the phone and call my visiting teacher or home teacher if I ever need anything? Will my children learn from my example of being "too independent" and then not know how to function in their own future "normal" and "healthy" relationships?..."


Heidi, what do you want? Wait, ponder and think about your answer. Really think about it. The Atonement is what fills in the gaps. Again, I know that this is not new. But stop and look at the deeper side of things. My heart breaks, loves,and longs for you to feel happy. To not just survive life, but to enjoy and live life. For your childrens' sakes, I pray that you can find daily happiness and sprinkle that on those children so that their memories of you are of someone who was loving, kind, and FUN!

Live for today.  Take the moments.  Pray for those moments so that you are not surviving, but that you are living. Live life! That is what Heavenly Father  needs you to do.

Each week prior to therapy, I review my notes from the previous week.  Last week, my therapist was running a little bit late.  Instead of reviewing the prior week's notes, I reviewed the entire notebook.  There were two common themes.  #1 Heidi's search for happiness and #2 Heidi's cold heart. (O.K., not cold heart . . . that's just my interpretation.  My guard is up.  There is a big giant stone wall built around my heart.  I have a difficult time letting ANYONE in.  Unfortunately that "Tough Heidi" fortress that I have built around my heart has prevented me from building lasting relationships with others (friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, etc.)  It's a big deal if I let anyone into my tight-knit circle of trust.  

In answer to my friend's question, what I want is to be able to know what I need in life that will truly make me happy.  And I want to be able to rely on the Savior and allow Him to heal my broken heart.  I want my friend to know that I am making an effort to live for today . . . one little step at a time.

Nightmare in Orlando

What may or may not be the worst thing to do in the planet besides clothes shopping with me?????  Clothes shopping with my firstborn son.  I put my foot DOWN this afternoon.  #1 I will NOT allow him to wear shorts in weather that is forecasted to be in the 20s tonight.  #2 I will certainly NOT allow him to wear his one pair of long pants that we purchased for him last year which now go well above his ankles.  He is insistent that the kids at school will not look down at his feet to see his pants are FLOODS.  I am insistent that middle school kids are HARSH, BRUTAL, AND SUPER DUPER MEAN.  I will NOT let my child go to school dressed like that.  He now has two new pair of pants that are not too skinny, not too baggy, not too blue, not too black, not too trendy, and not too nerdy.  Is everyone happy now?  I am.  And that's all that matters. The end.

Ch . . . ch . . . ch . . . Changes

Well, I am not a fan of changes.  I dig my heels in.  I kick.  I scream.  I cry.  And may or may not complain a little bit.  Is it no wonder that my offspring react the same way to change?  I like comfort zone.  I like easy breezy.  Well, today was another change.  The Elder's Quorum President got released.

My first reaction was . . . tears . . .gasp . . .what am I going to do?  What is Cristian going to do?  But then I took a deep breath and realized maybe this is all part of the great plan.  Last night I was reading in the Gospel Principles manual about prayer.  The one paragraph that seemed to jump out from the page and poke me in the eye was:

Our sincere prayers are always answered. Sometimes the answer may be no, because what we have asked for would not be best for us. Sometimes the answer is yes, and we have a warm, comfortable feeling about what we should do (see D&C 9:8–9). Sometimes the answer is “wait a while.” Our prayers are always answered at a time and in a way that the Lord knows will help us the most.

Sometimes the answer is "wait awhile".   I have relied on the support of my church leaders more than ever this past year.  As I have relied on their guidance and support, their time to serve has come to an end in one way or another.  My Branch President moved to Mexico.  Our Stake President got called as Temple President.  The high council member that was also our home teacher was called to another position in the stake.  My Relief Society President moved back to her home ward.  And today the Elders Quorum President was released.

O.K. so you are probably thinking what is the big deal?  People get released in callings ALL.THE.TIME.  But you see, this is so different.  I have poured out my heart and soul to these brothers and sisters. Although I am not a fan of change, I realized one thing today.  This is a perfect opportunity for a fresh start.  This is a true new beginning.  I have felt that the Ram . . . family has gotten lost in the cracks with all of these leadership changes.  But could this be our opportunity to really grow?  And show what  we are made of? 

I don't need to recycle the feelings of hurt and pain.  Maybe I am about ready to turn that corner and allow the Savior to heal me.  Maybe this wouldn't have been possible had I been in my comfort zone . . . where my Stake President, High Council Member/Home Teacher, Relief Society President, and the Elder's Quorum President who know EVERYTHING there is to know about the Ram Fam (plus more than they ever wanted to know) were still my  leaders.  Maybe this is what needed to happen so that I would be forced to EMBRACE change.  And to rely even more on the Lord.

I am grateful for our new Branch President who has since become our home teacher.  And I am grateful for the missionaries who visit us often.  And in the meantime while the rest of these changes keep happening around me, I will continue to "wait awhile".  The answers that I am seeking will surely come.

The Nativity and "Breath of Heaven"

Tino's Birthday

 

Yeah, so this isn't a "today" post, but it's a oops, "I should have blogged about this three months ago" post. For Tino's birthday, we went down to Miami to see the Cubs-Marlins baseball game. The last time I had seen a Cubs game was during Bob Brenly's first stint as broadcaster for the Cubbies.

It seems like a life-time ago that I worked during the summers as a nanny for the S.F. Giants ball players. The Brenly's were the first family that I worked for. I tried for weeks to get into touch with Bob. In fact, Tino sent countless e-mails via the radio station but to no avail. Game day came. I told Tino he would have the chance to meet Bob. He wanted to know how. I said, don't you worry. I will get you in. We went to the players parking lot, where we saw the Cubs' bus. I went to security and told them I was a family friend and needed to speak to Bob Brenly. He had already gone upstairs to the press box. It took me awhile to find the press box, but I finally tracked it down. (The upstairs security guys were not as helpful as the downstairs security guys.) We had to find the press box the old fashioned way. Go inside the stadium, look up to where we saw all the computers and cameras, then wander upstairs in that direction.  My plan to track down Bob was going well . . . until of course we got to the doorway that said "Press Box, No admittance, etc. etc."  Yeah, right.

 

 

Once again, I had to go through my very professional and confident "I know what I am doing" speech to the security guards.  It took three security guards.  Finally, the security supervisor came to help us.  It took about ten minutes of waiting, but it was worth the wait.  Bob's look of surprise on his face after not seeing me for 20+ years was almost as big as the look of surprise on Tino's face that I was able to actually make it through security and introduce him to Bob.  As suspected, Bob hadn't received any of Tino's e-mails.  I  have to thank Joan, Brenda, Shelley, and Becky (former S.F. Giants baseball wives) for teaching me the ins and outs of getting around ballpark security twenty plus years ago.

 

As for the actual baseball game, I couldn't tell you who won or who lost.  For me the most exciting and memorable part of the game was being able to see Bob after all these years and introduce him to two of my three children.  (Yes, I was a little weirded out thinking that my kids are now OLDER than his kids were at the time that I was their nanny.)  How time flies, when you're having fun!

Schedules

 

O.K. first of all, this photo has nothing to do with the post . . . other than the fact that this post is about Sarah. She took this picture at Busch Gardens the other day. It is her contribution to the PTA Reflections Contest "Together We Can". Her artist's statement how the photo relates to the theme is "The Baby Rhino goes walking with the Mommy Rhino and the Daddy Rhino. And that is together."

Sarah is a schedule gal. This year more than ever, I have felt that my life has literally been spinning out of control. But thank goodness for schedules. And routines. And kids that THRIVE on schedules and routines. As I have felt like putting the covers over my head and not getting out of bed, I have Sweet Sarah to remind me the planned events for the day. And in case I have forgotten, she will go get the calendar off the fridge and show me.

Here is a typical conversation last night as we were driving home from taking Tino to Boy Scouts:

Sarah: Mommy, who is taking me to school in the morning? (Pause)

Sarah: Papi. And what am I tomorrow? Car rider, walker or YMCA? (Pause)

Sarah: YMCA. And who picks me up from school tomorrow? (Pause)

Sarah: YOU do. And don't forget tonight is washing hair night.

If you notice, this is more like a dialogue she is having out loud with herself. Although many of her OCD tendencies have faded away with therapies and time, she continues to THRIVE on routine. And seriously? Would I be a.o.k. if she didn't wash hair on "washing hair night"? ABSOLUTELY. But she wouldn't be o.k. with it. I am grateful that my children keep me on track. What would I do if they didn't keep me accountable for the routines that I have worked so hard to establish?

 

Judgment

I spend hours reflecting upon whether or not my judgment skills (or lack thereof) need to be fine-tuned before I make one of the biggest decisions of my life.   There is such a fine line.  Use excellent judgment, yet don’t judge others.   Elder Gregory A. Schwitzer said "Good judgment is needed not only in understanding people, but also in facing decisions that often lead us to or away from our Heavenly Father.  Although the Savior asks us not to judge others, He still expects us to use excellent judgment."    


Wow, nothing like pressure huh?

I have had the opportunity to spend countless hours speaking to a friend that I met when we first moved to Orlando. She has been hurt and wronged, yet her heart is overflowing with love, forgiveness, and sympathy.  Through the trials and tribulations she has continued to stand next to the person that wronged her.  I don’t think she has one judging bone in her body.  How does she do that?  She continually tells me that “el enemigo” was able to take the person that wronged her by the hand and lead (this person) down a slippery slope of sin and transgression, but that she has been chosen by Heavenly Father to help lift (the person) back up leading towards the path of righteousness.  Once again, HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?


I think one of my best crash courses in "try not to judge others" happened this year as I found myself in the offices of an *nfect*ous d*sease doc. I was afraid to sit down in the chairs or even touch the same pen as any of the other patients because their illness might just be so contagious that by breathing the same air I could be infected with who knows what.  Funny, how as I sat in my little corner of self-righteousness and glory, it occurred to me that GASP . . . I.AM.ONE.OF.THOSE.PATIENTS.    And by the way, I have a whole other post about that part of my life.  Being the anal-retentive list maker that I am, I can actually cross one thing off my list of worries and concerns.  But more about that later . . .