Independence

I have always been very independent. And unfortunately, the older I have gotten the more independent and set in my independent ways I have become. I just figured out what drives me absolutely CRAZY about my job. It is a very ACT-REACT school and administration. This action-reaction gets pushed on to us.

At the other schools where I taught the administration was SUPER cool. Now I think maybe they were TOO cool for my own good. They told us their expectations and we were allowed to follow- through in our way. That system worked for me. However, it drove some teachers absolutely NUTTY. Some teachers needed the play by play and to be told step by step what to do and how to do it. Without that guidance, they were unable to function.

I work in the absolute opposite environment now. Florida is completely behind the game as far as educational practices and educational reform goes. The new "best practices" that are being crammed down our throat are the same things we were doing in California oh . . . about 10 years ago. Highly annoying. I DREAD checking my e-mail because it is always going to contain another mandate or suggestion. At the beginning of the school year, Bloom's Taxonomy was pushed and pushed. I always used Bloom's, but hadn't perfected implementing the higher levels on a daily basis. Now that I feel comfortable with Bloom's, we are now being told that Depth of Knowledge is the way to go. Seriously? Can somebody please make up their mind????? We have tons of directives and "recommendations" being thrown our way, yet the support part obn behalf of those that are not in the trenches day in and day out is lacking.

I feel like I am stuck in a cage. Not only am I stuck in the cage, but I am being cornered with my back against the wall. I don't do well with that. I appreciate independence. I thrive on independence. Now I am not a complete rebel, don't get me wrong. It's not like I am going to refuse to teach to the grade level standards and benchmarks. It's just that I do much better when I can do it MY way. Or, when every once in a blue moon I can receive some positive feedback instead of absolutely NO comments . . .with more and more "how-tos" that are sent to the entire staff piling up in my e-mail inbox.

What does this post have to do with ANYTHING? First the obvious question at hand: Can I SURVIVE an entire school year working under these conditions????? And my other questions: Will I ever be able to retrain myself to be less independent? Will I be able to to learn to depend on my spouse? Will I ever be able to learn to pick up the phone and call my visiting teacher or home teacher if I ever need anything? Will my children learn from my example of being "too independent" and then not know how to function in their own future "normal" and "healthy" relationships? Just wonderin'.