Things I Learned from My Temp Job

It's officially OVER. I survived the temp job. Here are some things I learned from this experience. (Notice how I even included a photo of myself AT THE END OF THE DAY. Nice limp, greasy hair and greasy/sweaty complexion.)

How to Distinguish Tourists from the Locals

• They visit the very upscale mall directly after spending the day at the water park(s). (Mall Attire= swimsuit and cover-up or swimsuit with towel wrapped around waist)
• WHITE PASTY legs and arms (imagine HEAVENLY WHITE) with tank top, short Daisy Duke shorts, and Universal/Islands of Adventure pass hanging around neck.
• Wearing a plethora of CHARACTER Apparel (ICK).
• Fanny pack or OVERSIZED Backpack instead of Gucci, Coach or Prada handbag.
• Busting out with the WINTER PARKA upon entering the mall. (Tourists aren't used to the cool air conditioning . . . they mistaken it for the 20-30 degrees below 0 weather they left behind up North).
  

What Not to Wear 101

• Disney Character Apparel from head to toe when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. (It's obnoxious and embarrassing when my not even 3 year old daughter wears her Princess shirt. The embarrassing factor increases by 1 million for every year past 5.
• Swimsuit and cover up in an UPSCALE mall.

What to Wear 101

• A bra if you are size C or above. Especially if you are a DD or EE. Please do the gals a favor and strap them in when going out in public.
  

What Not to Say 101

• No tank you. We ain't do nuttin. It good. (This coming from a gentleman DRESSED to the hilt in $625 designer jeans, $250 designer shirt)
• Nope. We are in a hurry. My wife is going into labor. RIGHT NOW. (Coming from a husband that has made at least 3 trips back and forth to his car with Pottery Barn Kids merchandise)
• Neiman Marcus (It's Neiman's) or Bloomingdales (It's Bloomies). Thankyouverymuch.
  

Most Common Visitors to the $10.99 a pound Candy Shop in Bloomies

• Frazzled upscale moms

Least Common Visitors to the $10.99 a pound Candy Shop in Bloomies

• The bratty upscale kiddos that are making the upscale moms FRAZZLED.
  
• Or is it the nanny or NANNIES that had the day off from caring for the kids?

Disclaimer: As mentioned before, I have NO PROBLEMS with people that have lots and lots and lots of money. More power to ya. But, I will repeat what I said in an earlier post. Money does not necessarily buy class.

Thank You, Temp Job and Temp Job Employer for helping me to raise funds to travel cross country and attend Women's Conference at BYU and Blogapalooza 2008.