Sarah turns 3 in less than two months. This means that Sarah will no longer receive her speech, occupational therapy, and applied behavior analysis therapies through the state. She will transition into the public school system. As I was reviewing all of the paperwork from the school district, one of the things it said over and over again throughout is "Make sure somebody else comes to the transition meeting with you: Friend, family member, etc." I read this and thought, yeah I can see why it would be nice to have someone there for emotional support, etc. But then I thought to myself, why would I need anyone to go with me since I have attended hundreds of 504 plan meetings, I.E.P. meetings, and Student Success Team meetings?
It is a MUCH different experience sitting at the other side of the table. As a Reading Specialist/Literacy Coach, I facilitated the Student Success Team meetings for four years. And I had to attend the 504 plan or I.E.P. meetings of the students I taught. Although I understood all the education lingo that was thrown my way during Sarah's transition meeting, I kept feeling as though an anxiety attack was coming on. It was hard to breathe and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Once again, where did that come from????? I have been the one fighting for the educational rights of Sweet Sarah for well over a year. I was the one advocating for her services. So it's not like this was any new news to me that my daughter has learning issues (and behavior issues).
Anyway, at the end of the meeting, I was asked to sign the dotted line on about five hundred and one forms. Imagine my surprise when someone had already signed on MY LINE. It's the line that says: Early Intervention Team Member/Title or the line that says Teacher. How many years have I not been teaching school? (This would be my fourth school year as a "stay at home mom"). It took serious concentration for me to be able to find the line on all of the paper work that says: Parent. What a bizarre concept. I am the parent of a "Special Needs" kiddo. Even though I have known this for quite some time, that whole concept is still processing in my brain.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sitting on the OTHER SIDE of the Table
Posted by heidiram at 8:32 AM
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5 comments:
Heidi! I have the exact same experience. I, too, was an elementary teacher and a reading specialist for years. I knew all about IEPs...
Until I went as a parent.
It is one of the most emotional and draining experiences I have ever been through.
Just last week I went to another long meeting where I sat through my son's evaluation results, his IEP planning and generally hearing the teachers (who were very professional and kind) tell me that he has all kinds of learning and social disabilities and may never be mainstreamed.
I held it together throughout the entire thing and then burst into tears the whole ride home. It is so hard to be an advocate to your child when your heart is involved.
This was more of a post than a comment. But I find it very validating to know others have the same thoughts and experiences as me...
Good luck!
Hey Cuz-
Okay I'm quickly crawling out of my sabbatical even though I should be feeding someone right now...
But since you cared to leave a comment, I'm quickly responding. My piano teacher charges $15/half hour. That is also what my teacher up in Seattle charged. Plus, they come to my house. I think that if I went to their house for lessons, then they would charge $12/half hour. She also buys all the books and supplies and then bills me for them at the end of the month (like the pratice stickers, the pratice book chart, flashcards, but not for the reward candy). I really really appreciate it because it saves me tons of extra time and steps and then she gets what she needs to teach.
Since you have your 3 kids, I'm sure you won't want to travel to student's houses, but I'm sure you could safely charge $15/half hour - it seems pretty standard. I'm sure you could build up a small base of students through your church connections and then from referrels you could expand. People are ALWAYS looking for piano teachers.
Good luck
!!
been there too. although i will say i really enjoyed sitting through the meeting and feeling so knowledgeable. i really felt like a contributing member of the team, rather than a confused parent. my meltdown came in the car ride home, and i thought, this is officially it... my daughter is not perfect and now it's public knowledge. as awful as that sounds, that's what i felt. it's not like i locked her up the first few years of her life. but such open, public discussion about all her needs was a first for me. and as savvy as i was negotiating her IEP, it still hurt. guess that's the "acceptance" phase. right?
yeah.
Dear Heidi
I hope you can feel my arms around you giving you a big hug..Being a mommy "ain't" always fun and easy.
Love you Biggy Big
Sweet Sarah is so blessed to have you . You are so qualified with a smushy tender heart. You have what it takes to get through this phase of Sarah's life. Your training is and will continue to be an asset to her and the rest of your family.
I wish I could take away some of this for you.-
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